Turning conflict into connection

All couples experience conflicts and fight; it is inherent to the process of building a life with someone. However, some conflicts are for the better and some are for worse, depending on what is said, how you and your partner treat each other. However, the key to turning conflicts with your significant other into an opportunity for connection and growth is by saying these three words: I believe you.

Often, when fighting with loved ones over what what was said or done, this can feel never-ending, as you play an endless game of I said-you said with your partner. In these moments, it’s important to never invalidate your loved ones experience or feelings, as this approach will you get nowhere in coming to an understanding or compromise. When engaged in conflict, always validate your partner and how they view and are experiencing the conflict. One of the easiest and most successful ways to do this is by telling your partner that you hear what they are saying and that you believe them. In using these words, you are conveying to your significant other that what they are experiencing is real and that you acknowledge their reality. From here, you have a shared foundation with your loved one on which you can build understanding and connection, two important building blocks on which all relationships rest.

At the Arizona Center for Marriage and Family Therapy, we believe that conflicts are a necessary part of any long-term, committed relationship, and in using the words “I believe you,” you can turn a life-time of conflicts into a life-time compromise and connection. If you and your partner are in need of support in working through conflicts and developing understanding, you can schedule an appointment with one of our therapists today using the schedule button in the top right corner or by clicking here.


For more information on the article that inspired this post, click here. Photo by Dương Hữu on Unsplash.

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