Building a confident foundation during childhood sets the stage for a resilient and successful future. Navigating friendships, school, extra-curriculars and family dynamics are all developmental experiences when it comes to building confidence for children and teens. Knowing how to guide children, while simultaneously letting them make their own
mistakes, is a crucial role parents play in building children’s confidence. Today we want to learn: the signs of low self-esteem in children and teenagers, how to help them increase their confidence and the long-term benefits of being confident.
What are the signs of low self-esteem in children and teenagers?
Great Schools highlights the importance of vigilantly watching for common indicators of low self-esteem in children and teenagers. Behaviors like negative self-talk, quitting, avoidance, denying help, being aggressive, controlling, bullying or being impulsive may be early signs of low confidence (greatschools.org, 2024). Psychology Today shares that children with low self-esteem may also struggle to make decisions, have difficulties saying no to peer pressure, avoid trying out for activities and struggle to stick up for themselves (psyschologytoday.com, 2022).
How can you help your child or teenager increase their confidence?
Psychology Today emphasizes the important role parents can play in helping your children feel confident. First, being a role model to them of what confidence can look like. Second, be mindful of how you communicate, be aware of the nonverbal communication you may be sending. Be diligent in communicating progress to your child, give support, tell them you are proud of them often. Next, give them tasks that are achievable and focus more on effort than outcome. Lastly, understand your child’s fears and concerns while also teaching them the importance of knowing we are all human and make mistakes (psychologytoday.com, 2021). The Cleveland Clinic reminds parents that the early stepping stones of confidence begin at home. They encourage children and teens to tackle problems or tasks in bite-size pieces, have them help around the house, and, of course, listen and validate your child’s feelings (health.clevelandclicnic.org, 2024).
What are the long-term benefits of building confident children and teenagers?
Sometimes when we think of confidence we think of the star of a play or movie, stand out athletes or valedictorians. However, confidence does not equate to being “the best” at any given thing. Confidence is a crucial skill that can be taught and learned. Having confidence helps children and teenagers feel respected, become resilient and independent, be accountable for their choices, and make good decisions and form healthy relationships (understood.org, 2024). Most importantly, learning to be confident allows children and teens to feel good about themselves, believe in themselves and feel worthy (youngminds.org.uk, 2023).
Confidence is not something everyone is inherently born with. Confidence can wax and wane throughout your lifetime. As parents, we need to teach our children how to build confidence by allowing them to experience situations that will push them to rely on themselves and come out the other side, despite the outcome. It is natural to want to shield our children from discomfort and disappointment. Ultimately, this only does our children a disservice by robbing them of opportunities to build confidence in themselves. If we want our children to become happy, healthy and resilient adults we need to start at home and let them navigate uncertainty with us as their guide.
Sources:
How can parents spot low self-esteem in their children? | GreatSchools.org
Low Self-Esteem in Adolescents: What Are the Root Causes? | Psychology Today
14 Strategies for Building Confidence in Your Children | Psychology Today
6 Ways To Boost Your Teen’s Confidence
The importance of positive self-esteem for kids
Self-Esteem and Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds
